Saturday, September 20, 2014

Miley Cyrus Is Going To Jail In Mexico!


While the Mexican government isn't doing much to prevent itself from being an entry point for illegal immigrants into America, they are interested in apprehending one Miley Cyrus for inappropriate use of their flag.


Justin Trudeau Continues To Be Amazing!


Showing stunning political prowness, Justin Trudeau has opened up the abortion debate before the election campaign has even begun. Insisting that his MPs will have to vote how he tells them, he's also trying to portray his government in waiting as being open and democratic. And going after the youth vote, he's decided to alienate older voters.

Canada continues to be the only country in the world without any clear laws on abortion. And that quagmire is promised to continue when Justin becomes Prime Minister in 2015.


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Islamization of Teaching


In the United States today only two percent of colleges offer Western Civilization as a course requirement. I teach Western Civ in two parts, but they are not required, and I had to change the title to "Sociology of Western Civilization" for approval. Since I decided to teach this subject ten years ago, I have detected in new texts, and in newer editions of older texts, a growing emphasis on Islam in their narration of the cultural history of the West.


Monday, September 15, 2014

Islam Has Taken Over Cat Steven's Head!


After running other religions out of their own countries, Muslims are making some serious gains. From cutting the heads off of infidels to causing a rape crisis in Britain, now they've gotten into Cat Steven's head. 

In other news this guy is way better than Cat Stevens...


Sunday, September 14, 2014

America's Latest Serial Killer You've Never Heard Of...


Is Brandon Howell.


A career criminal in Kansas City is accused of killing five elderly white people. He is also suspected of the murder of two white teenagers in 1998.

No Canadians Allowed!


With 12 million illegals already in America, US Border Patrol decided to make an example of a Canadian who illegaly crossed over. He was fined $5000 and immediantly sent back.


Friday, September 12, 2014


Suprisingly the CBC passed on my script. They said that movies are supposed to be longer than 15 minutes and cited it would be unlikely that they could get Peter Mansbridge drunk enough to act in it.

So I quickly began work on my next movie proposal. It's a political thriller. Here's what I have so far...

EXT. WHITE HOUSE - ESTABLISHING SHOT

It is a pleasant, sunny day.

INT. OVAL OFFICE

PRESIDENT OBAMA sits behind his desk. A little drunk he chugs a can of Bud and tosses it on the floor behind him. He then presses an intercom button on his desk.

OBAMA: Send Stephen Harper in here.

MICHAEL IGNATIEFF quickly enters.

IGNATIEFF: You wanted to see me, Mr. President?

OBAMA: Yes, Stephen.

IGNATIEFF: I keep telling you: I'm not Stephen Harper. I'm Michael Ignatieff.

OBAMA: All of you people look a like to me. Why don't you grow an afro or something so that I can differentiate you from one another?

Obama opens another can of Budweiser.

OBAMA (Cont'd): Stephen, I was watching CNN last night and it suddenly occurred to me that people don't like me.

IGNATIEFF: No, sir: You're mistaken.

OBAMA: Shut-up. Since you're from Canada I thought I'd ask you: After I leave this job should I run for mayor of Toronto? Then will people like me?

IGNATIEFF: I don't really know that much about Canada. I'm more of a Harvard, Princeton, Harvard type guy.

OBAMA: But you were some kind of leader up there.

IGNATIEFF: Briefly. I'd stay away. In Ontario all they do is drink Tim Hortons and complain about the economy. In Quebec every single person drives a Volkswagen Golf and its like bumper cars all over the roads. Then there's other parts of the country that Liberals aren't familiar with. They have really good pot in BC, though.

OBAMA: Interesting. So if I buy a VW Golf, drink Tim Hortons coffee, and go to BC to smoke pot, will that make me popular in Canada?

IGNATIEFF: (pondering) I know someone who might be able to help you.

INT. CLOSE UP OF LAURENCE FISHBURNE - DAY

He is wearing dark sunglasses.

FISHBURNE: When EXPO '67 was first built, there was a man born in Montreal who had the ability to change whatever he wanted, to remake Canada as he saw fit. It was he who got the first of us to vote Liberal, taught us about Trudeaumania. As long as Conservatives exist, Canadians will never be fully free to do all of that weirder stuff we did in the '60s. After he died, the Liberal conventions prophesied his return and his coming would hail the destruction of Conservatives. That is why there are those who have spent our entire lives searching Canada looking for him.

Now we see that Fishburne is talking to JUSTIN TRUDEAU who is dumbly surprised.

INT. LARGE BEDROOM - DAY

JUSTIN TRUDEAU is waking up from a nap. He yells...

JUSTIN: Sophie, I had that dream again!

Sophie answers from out in the hallway...

SOPHIE (VOICE OVER): The one where you are Superman?

JUSTIN: No. In this one I'm Neo from the Matrix.

SOPHIE (VOICE OVER): No more juice boxes for you before nap time.