Monday, September 1, 2014

Should European-Canadians be Replaced?




Today in Canada, a nation thoroughly controlled by cultural Marxists, European Canadians, the people who founded Canada, are not allowed to question, ponder over, or even ask a simple question about this impending ethnic transformation.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

The God of War: Baron Ungern-Sternberg


Independance for Mongolia?

There are two Mongolias: Inner and Outer Mongolia. The former belongs to China while the latter is now an independent nation. It wasn't always that way. In 1911, because of civil war in China, Mongolian princes got together and decided to succeed to form their own nation. They were supported by (then Czarist) Russia. They chose the Bogd Khan who was the living Buddha, to be their new leader. As 'Khan' (our version of King) he would just be a figure head: The country would really be under feudal/military rule. But then there was confusion from their Russian allies as the communists took over and civil war broke out there, too. The Chinese quickly regained control of the region.


A Confused Russia

As Russian soldiers of different loyalties fought it out with each other, things were a mess. The Red Army was loyal to Lenin and the Bolshevik revolution while the White Army knew that they were defending God and the Czar. There was even a Green Army who fought for themselves, attacking both sides.

Russia had a unit called the Asiatic Mounted Division stationed way out in Siberia. Their leader was a man named Baron Roman Federovich von Ungern-Sternberg. It's hard to say which side he was on, only that the last thing that he was was a communist.


God of War

The Mongolians would call him, 'Tsagan Burkhan' which translates to, 'God of War.' In the west he was known as the Mad or Bloody Baron.

If you thought that Buddhism was a peaceful religion then you've never heard of Baron von Sternberg!

He had been a hero during World War 1 but the Russian army was too scared to promote him because they politely suspected that he was a nutcase. So they gave him a command post in the far east of the Russian territories to get rid of him. When the civil war broke out he was at first loyal to the Czar. But he and his ragtag group of men started attacking the Whites as much as the Reds. He had fallen in love with the nomadic lifestyle of the people in the region. He was drawn to eastern mysticism.

Accepting Buddhism as the only religion that made sense, he began to realize that he was the reincarnation of Genghis Khan. He also discovered that he was psychic. Staring into the eyes of the men who were under his command, he'd decide which ones were worthy to serve him and which ones he'd have shot.

In 1921 he drove the Chinese out of Mongolia. Reinstating the Bogd Khan as figurehead, he was now the dictator of this new country. While he ruled with an iron fist and made decisions based on prophecy, he also introduced the Mongolian people to telephones and public transportation.

He let his soldiers indulge in alcohol, opium, and hashish. They were also supposed to abstain from having sex. This was intended to turn them into the perfect killing machines. And the Baron didn't care how many people he had killed because they'd be reincarnated anyway.

The Baron's rule didn't last long: Just under 6 months. In need of more drunken conquests, he reentered communist Russian territory and was captured and executed.


The Baron was one Buddhist who certainly hadn't best represented the peaceful side of that religion.

Check out Ferdynand Ossendowski's account of the Baron in his biographical novel... http://goo.gl/gZoJy

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Conclusion of, 'Threatening Letters to Warren Kinsella.'


Disclaimer: This screenplay is a work of satire similar to, 'Saturday Night Live,' or anything that's happened in Canadian parliament since 1970.

Today we have made Canadian film history. I have written what will be one of the greatest Canadian movies of all time. Once Kinsella and Mansbridge agree to play themselves in this epic tale, it will no doubt be picked up by a major studio. Watch for it to open at TIFF after the movie of the East Indian guy who has to find his roots after inheriting a curry shop and the film about a Pakistani hockey player.

In the last installment Warren Kinsella guest stars in an episode of, 'Republic of Doyle.'

(back to part 1).

And now our dramatic conclusion...

INT. PRISON CELL - MORNING

PETER MANSBRIDGE is now awake with his hands resting behind his head. SHAUN MAJUMDER is sitting up, looking depressed his legs dangle from the top bunk. We hear sappy music...

MANSBRIDGE: You can't let getting thrown into prison get you down. You have to go back to the CBC and do the best show that you can do.

MAJUMDER: You're right. I'm the funniest there is on, '22 Minutes.' Without me that show is nothing.

MANSBRIDGE: (confused) Do you play that fisherman that's on at 5 on Sunday morning? Is that what you do?

Majumder ignores the question. He jumps down from the top bunk and looks excited.

INT. CBC STUDIO (SET OF 22 MINUTES)

The AUDIENCE is cheering. MARK CRITCH, CATHY JONES, and WARREN KINSELLA sit behind the 22 Minutes news desk. Opening music.There is applause from the AUDIENCE. We see a GUY holding que cards beside the camera. The music ends.

KINSELLA: Hi. I'm Warren Kinsella. (squints to read what's on the card) Tonight on 22 Minutes: Why don't cars have hub caps anymore? It's because if they did all of the immigrants in... (pauses, confused) Toronto would steal them?

The audience roars with laughter.

KINSELLA: (to Cathy Jones) I'm not reading that: It's stupid and racist. It makes no sense.

There is an awkward silence. Both Jones and Critch smile at the camera nervously. Somebody off stage says...

VOICE: Go to commercial.

Jones angrily turns to Kinsella.

JONES: This is 22 Minutes. The most racist TV show in Canada. It's what people want to see. All of the white liberals who live in Toronto are secretly a bunch of racists. Come on, everyone knows that.

KINSELLA: This is outrageous.

Now we see the DIRECTOR realizing they're running out of time.

DIRECTOR: That Puerto Rican guy Shaun Majumder didn't show up for work today. Get the guy who looks like Bill Murray to do the skit, 'Minority Report.'

Kinsella stands looking enraged.

KINSELLA: Shaun Majumder? He works on this show?

INT. CBC STUDIO (SET OF MINORITY REPORT)

A STAGE HAND seats KINSELLA who is so angry he is in a daze. A voice offstage says...

VOICE: And we're on.

There is a pause. Kinsella still looks angry.

VOICE: And we're on?

Finally Kinsella looks up and starts reading from the que cards.

KINSELLA: Hello...I'm like some kind of guy from Pakistan who has a TV show...Thank-you, come again. Thank-you, come again.

The audience roars with laughter and applause.

MAJUMDER: (VOICE OVER) Kinsella!

Kinsella stands, clenching his fists.

KINSELLA: Majumder!

Now we see MAJUMDER walk toward the set, confused.

MAJUMDER: (confused) Kinsella...You're doing my thing.

INT. LARGE LIVING ROOM - EVENING

PETER MANSBRIDGE is sitting on a couch wearing only boxer shorts, downing a beer. He's watching what's going on at, '22 Minutes' on a big screen TV.

MANSBRIDGE: This sucks. I can't believe I work for this dip shit station.

He picks up the remote and turns on hardcore porn.

INT. CBC STUDIO (SET OF MINORITY REPORT)

KINSELLA and MAJUMDER rush each other.

KINSELLA: Nobody says that about my band. Nobody!

Now they have their hands around each other's necks.

And like in some artsy French film that keeps the audience guessing the last scene we see is this...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella - Part 8


In the last installment of my satirical screenplay Warren Kinsella was fired from Sun News.

(go back to part 1).

INT. LOBBY OF CBC BUILDING - DAY

OLIVIA CHOW, dressed in a jogging suit, is talking to a security guard who sits behind a desk. She looks frustrated.

CHOW: I'm Olivia Chow. Olivia Chow. O-liv-i-a Chow. I'm the woman running for mayor of Toronto.

The security guard shakes his head, dumbfounded.

CHOW: I'm Mrs. Jack Layton.

SECURITY GUARD: (excited) Oh, Olivia Chow! Jack Layton: I loved him! What would you like Ms. Chow?

CHOW: Show me where Warren is.

INT. STUDIO (APARTMENT SET) - DAY

A DIRECTOR is seated beside a CAMERA CREW. They are filming, 'The Republic of Doyle,' The set is of a sparse bachelor pad. ALLAN HAWCO and SEAN MCGINLEY are looking around the apartment.

HAWCO: I don't know where he hid those diamonds.

Suddenly WARREN KINSELLA enters the apartment holding a gun. As he speaks Hawco and McGinley spin around in surprise.

KINSELLA: (blandly) That's enough of your diamond hunting.

DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut! Try to be more threatening with that gun.

Now Hawco looks pissed. He rushes up to the director and rants in a hushed voice...

HAWCO: This is my show. It's supposed to be about me. I don't see why some big shot Hollywood actor like Bill Murray has to come all the way up here for a bit part in it.

DIRECTOR: He says he's not Bill Murray. He's...

The director looks at a piece of paper. Hawco points at Kinsella.

HAWCO: That's Bill Murray!

Now we see that OLIVIA CHOW has entered the studio and she's surveying the scene. She shakes her head in disgust at Kinsella and then turns and rushes off without saying anything.

INT. PRISON CELL - NIGHT

Bunk beds. PETER MANSBRIDGE is sound asleep on the bottom bunk. He is dressed in his normal clothes. SHAUN  MAJUMDER is awake on the top bunk, still wearing orange. Mansbridge is talking softly in his sleep...

MANSBRIDGE: Yeah, I once interviewed Mulroney and Bush in the same day. What did you do you fucking turd? ...Hello, I'm Peter Mansbridge. ...I'll knock your teeth out you CNN prick...

Majumder can't sleep. He quickly pulls out a note pad and begins to write furiously...

MAJUMDER: (to himself) Dear Warren Kinsella. You know when you eat ice cream too fast and get that splitting headache? That's how I feel when I see your stupid face on TV. You're just so awful. I once listened to your band play and it gave me instant diarrhea...

(go on to the conclusion).






Monday, August 25, 2014

Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella - Part 7


In the last installment of my satirical screenplay Peter Mansbridge and Shaun Majumder discuss breaking back into prison.

(go back to part 1).

Now I present Part 7...

EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE SUN NEWS BUILDING - DAY

INT. EZRA LEVANT'S OFFICE

It is large and sparsely decorated. EZRA sits at a desk writing. WARREN KINSELLA nervously enters.

KINSELLA: You wanted to see me, sir?

LEVANT: Yes. I remember we went to high school together back in Alberta. We were like this...


KINSELLA: (smiles meekly) Yes, I remember.

LEVANT: Then you started suing me. What was that all about, anyway?

KINSELLA: (small voice) A misunderstanding, sir.

LEVANT: Then someone told me that you write books. So I picked up one of your little self-published books and in it it says that you're a Liberal. A Liberal? What is that? Is that like a Shriner?

KINSELLA: The political party, sir.

LEVANT: (shocked) They still have that? What? Like Lester Pearson?

KINSELLA: (ashamed) Yes, sir.

LEVANT: You know what? Just get out! Clean out your desk and get out.

EXT. SUN NEWS BUILDING - DAY

WARREN KINSELLA leaves the building looking sad. He's carrying all of his possessions in a box. A minivan pulls up and he gets in the passenger seat. Now we see that the driver is OLIVIA CHOW.

CHOW: What is it now, Warren? I'm a busy lady.

KINSELLA: (tears) They fired me.

CHOW: (angry) Can't you do anything right? When I'm mayor of Toronto I'll drive those fuckers at Sun News all the way back to Alberta. There'll be more public transport, happier people, and then the peasants will overthrow the bourgeoisie elite.

KINSELLA: Yes, ma'am.

CHOW: Where to now?

KINSELLA: Where else? The CBC building.

EXT. CBC BUILDING - DAY

DAVD SUZUKI and AMANDA LANG stand by a tree. Drunk out of their minds, they sway back and forth as they chug from bottles in brown paper bags.

LANG: If only... (trying not to throw up) If only Ignatieff had won the election we'd have expense accounts and we'd be drinking in a fancy pub with those people from Global.

Suzuki falls over and struggles to get up. He starts laughing and says...

SUZUKI: I just did a show on the Arctic yellow-spotted loon. There is no Arctic yellow-spotted loon!

Now we see Olivia Chow's minivan pull up and KINSELLA gets out with his box in hand. As she drives away OLIVIA yells at him...

CHOW: Hey, Warren: Don't call me again unless they give you a big show in prime time.

(on to part 8).


Sunday, August 24, 2014

Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella - Part 6


This screenplay is a work of satire similar to the CBC's, '22 Minutes,' 'Saturday Night Live,' or Olivia Chow's election campaign. (Back to part 1).

INT. DONUT SHOP - DAY

PETER MANSBRIDGE walks in and saunters up to the counter. The guy behind it is a 20-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE STUDENT who looks terrified of him.

MANSBRIDGE: Hi. I'm Peter Fucking Mansbridge. You know me from, 'The National.' Get me 8 Boston creams and a maple glaze.

As he waits for his order Mansbridge turns around. Now we see that SHAUN MAJUMDER is seated at a table drinking a coffee and looking depressed. He is still wearing his orange prison uniform. The shackles around his arms and legs are now broken.

As Manbridge gets his box of donuts he approaches Majumder. Feeling sorry for him he sits down.

MAJUMDER: I can't go back to prison. The warden was so mean to me there. He made me dress in this orange. And all they have is decaf. And instead of playing tennis they play racquetball. I was like, 'What is this: 1986?'

MANSBRIDGE: What's writing threatening letters to Bill Murray? An $80 fine and a day in jail?

MAJUMDER: It's not Bill Murray that I hate: It's Warren Kinsella.

MANSBRIDGE: (shaking his head) I don't know who that is.

MAJUMDER: He's the guy from Sun News.

MANSBRIDGE: I'm not familiar with it.

MAJUMDER: Really? Sun News?

MANSBRIDGE: All I watch on TV is, 'America's Funniest Videos,' and hardcore porn.

MAJUMDER: Oh.

MANSBRIDGE: You have to go back. The CBC will never let a prison escapee work for them. They'll treat you like they treat David Suzuki on Monday mornings when he gets out of the drunk tank.

MAJUMDER: (considering) Hmmm.

MANSBRIDGE: What show is it you do on CBC again? Do you play one of those gay guys that's on in the afternoon? Or are you the gay guy who walks through the alley ranting about Stephen Harper?

MAJUMDER: I'm on, '22 Minutes.'

MANSBRIDGE: That's with the hockey coach in a neon blazer?

MAJUMDER: (excited) Say: Do you want to help me break back into prison? We could get in a game of racquetball.

MANSBRIDGE: (shrugs) Sure. Cyndy's going through this phase where she thinks, 'Street Legal,' is still a thing. I haven't been home in four days.

They both get up and leave.

Now we see that WARREN KINSELLA is seated at the next table in disguise. He is wearing a trench coat and sunglasses. He takes off the glasses and angrily says...

KINSELLA: I will destroy this one. He said my band sucks. He didn't have to put it that way.

(on to part 7).



Saturday, August 23, 2014

Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella - Part 5


Disclaimer: This screenplay is a work of satire like, 'The Canadian Air Farce,' 'Stephen Colbert,' or Olivia Chow's election campaign. (Go back to part 1).

EXT. DOWNTOWN TORONTO - DAY

WARREN KINSELLA is walking down a street. PEOPLE pause and stare at him. Many say...

PEDESTRIAN: That's Bill Murray!

PEDESTRIAN #2: Ghostbusters!

PEDESTRIAN #3: I loved Groundhog Day!

KINSELLA: (angrily) I am not Bill Murray.

A limo pulls up to the curb. The rear window slides down and a white glove beckons Kinsella. We hear whispering from the rear seat as he leans forward to listen.

KINSELLA: Yes sir...Anything you say sir...I'll try to do better next time...

After a pause he asks...

KINSELLA: Say, would you like to come over to my house for dinner sometime?

Now we see EZRA LEVANT in the rear seat of the limo looking absolutely disgusted.

LEVANT: No, I do not want to come over to your house for dinner sometime!

The limo drives off. Kinsella continues to walk as people say...

PEDESTRIAN #4: Welcome to Toronto, Mr. Murray!

PEDESTRIAN #5: I loved you in that thing you did with that girl from the commercial!

PEDESTRIAN #6: Can I have an autograph?

KINSELLA: (angrily) I am not Bill Murray! Why doesn't anybody recognize me?

VOICE: Hey Kinsella!

Kinsella turns. Now we see 100 TALL REDHEADED MEN emerge from an alley. They look pissed.

REDHEAD #1: We're the redheads that were in school before September 11th when it was all about the holocaust and Nazis.

REDHEAD #2: We'd like to talk to you about computer science majors and their 14-year-old girlfriends!

REDHEAD #3: Did you read my Blogspot blog?

REDHEAD #4: Why did most of the good-looking blond guys go to community college? And also the black guys because I'm not a racist!

REDHEAD #5: I'm a racist: I'm all Nazied out!

Kinsella looks scared. He turns and runs.

REDHEAD #6: There's more redheaded kids in commercials these days! We're getting more and more popular! One day people will listen to us!

(On to Part 6).




Friday, August 22, 2014

Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella - Part 4


Disclaimer: This is a work of satire similar to the CBC's 22 Minutes, Saturday Night Live, or Olivia Chow's election campaign. (Go back to part 1).

INT. SET OF THE NATIONAL

PETER MANSBRIDGE is talking to someone off camera.

MANSBRIDGE: Oh fuck: Last night instead of moaning, 'Cynthia' I was here Like, 'Wendy, Wendy, Wendy.' My place is a fucking war zone. Why don't you come over and bring some brewskies?

A light goes on and Mansbridge looks into the camera.

MANSBRIDGE: Tonight on the National: President Obama leaves Martha's Vineyard to go golfing but may be offering another stern warning to Putin. And later life will be much better in Canada when Justin Trudeau seizes power as rightful leader. All hail Trudeau! But first: 22 Minutes host Shaun Majumder has been taken into custody for writing threatening letters to Bill Murray. We have this live...

Mansbridge turns his head and a screen shows SHAUN MAJUMDER dressed in an orange prison jump suit. His arms and legs are shackled together.

MANSBRIDGE: Mr. Majumder: Are you with al-Qaeda?

MAJUMDER: Why do you people keep asking me that? I'm from Newfoundland.

MANSBRIDGE: Why threaten Bill Murray?

MAJUMDER: I don't even know who that is.

MANSBRIDGE: Actor. Comedian. He starred in: Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, What About Bob?

MAJUMDER: Okay. Growing up in the al-Qaeda operative training camp just outside of Chechnya I wasn't allowed to watch American movies.

MANSBRIDGE: So you are with al-Qaeda?

Majumder looks worried.

EXT. GOTHIC CASTLE - NIGHT

INT. STAIRCASE OF CASTLE

WARREN KINSELLA climbs the steps. He opens a door at the top and enters.

INT. ROOM SIMILAR TO A DUNGEON

RICHARD WARMAN is there dressed exactly like Count Dracula. He hisses as Kinsella enters, displaying fangs. Kinsella takes out a crucifix and Warman backs away.

KINSELLA: Back boy. Remember: It's illegal to suck people's blood in this day and age. You have to restore your life force through litigation.

Warman looks disappointed.

WARMAN: Have we let enough immigrants into the country to finally destroy the Nordic race?

KINSELLA: Soon. Soon.

WARMAN: Excellent.

(go onto part 5).